Slumber Party Sadness

Here I sit in the wee hours of the night blogging, instead of sleeping, lest I maim or dismember the precious little girls that have been entrusted to me for a much anticipated slumber party. I hate slumber parties. I think I hate little girls.

These girls show up at my house with a cell phone each and begin the evening prank calling boys, texting their "boyfriends", and causing general girlie disruption. Did I mention that these girls are only 10 years old? I inform my deprived phoneless daughter that if they don't stop the prank calls then the phones will belong to me 'til morning. I remind my daughter, and her friends, that the rule in our house is that girls don't call boys, nor do they receive calls from boys, and texting to or from boys is off limits as well. The calls stop. This, however, is the ONLY rule that is followed for the rest of the evening.

After pizza, cupcake decorating, and opening gifts I send the girls upstairs for the normal slumber party activities... games, nail painting, and general girlie giddiness. That of course is loud and giggly. At some point it progresses WAY beyond loud and giggly into OUT OF CONTROL shouting and disruption. About 10 I suggest cleaning up the games and starting a movie, the goal being to settle them down and point them in the direction toward bed. That works for about 20 minutes.

Three ignored requests for calm and one foiled pillow fight later, I march my happy hiney up the stairs to find the entire room COVERED with popcorn, M&M's, and chexmix. Not a spot where the bowl has spilled. Nope. Every inch of the floor had food on it. They were walking on it. Sitting in it. Dancing on it.

My exact words... "You have GOT to be KIDDING!"

Were you raised in a barn, destructo-bot 10 year olds say WHAT????? (a little nod to Hannah Montana there. Cute, huh?)

I scolded Grace. I shamed her friends by saying... "I'm offended that you would come into our home and treat it like a trashcan". I did not yell... BUT I WANTED TO!!! They were instructed to clean up the mess, turn off the movie, and go on to bed. It is now 11.

After an apology, the girls ask to listen to music while they are going to sleep. Tryin' so hard NOT to squash Grace's party I agree, tellin' them that they can stay up as long as they are quiet an stay in bed. At 12:10 I have to once again march my happy hiney up the stairs to revoke the music privilege and instruct them to now GO TO SLEEP.

12:40... if I have to ask again, I will separate you.

1:50... I find them sneaking around the house

GREAT!!!!! The little turds are forcing my hand. Now I HAVE to separate them.

I remind Grace that she now has to sleep in her room. She's not happy, but doesn't trow a fit. That in and of it self is shocking. When I go collect her things from the guest room I again shame the little darlings... "Grace has been looking forward to this for 6 weeks, and now she has to spend her birthday slumber party sleeping by herself. The three of you made some pretty dumb choices tonight. And you should know that I will be talking to your moms about your inability to follow the rules." Ain't I a witch?

When I return to Grace's room with her pillow and blanket I find her crying... of course. We talk a while, we cry a while, we snuggle a while. I explain that I didn't want her party to turn out like this. That it hurts my heart to see her disappointed. But I just can't allow her to blatantly disobey me that way. She told me that she knew it was wrong, but wanted to make them happy. I get that. I so get that.

It's troubling to me that these girls have no more respect for authority than that, and that these are the friends that she is choosing. She loves them. She cries when they get angry with her. She wants so badly for them to accept her, even if it means disobeying her parents.

Before you think I've gone off the deep end, please understand that I'm aware that they were testing limits... all of them. They aren't bad kids. They are KIDS. They are learning... I get it, I really do. But this "what ever it takes to make them like me" thing is becoming somewhat of a trend for Grace. And it scares the crap out of me. I want my little girl to find her own voice. To have enough courage to defend herself, and to stand up for what she knows is right, even at the risk of getting laughed at. I'm so afraid that I'm screwing her up. I hate that she worries so much about what people think. It's a prison. Did I do this to her? I want her to be stronger than I was. Who am I kidding? I want her to be stronger than I AM now.

I probably wont talk to their moms. I'll probably just make pancakes and bacon in the morning, and have a casual discussion about rules and respect over breakfast. I will encourage them to come back for another sleepover, but only if they can follow the rules. And if they can't, they wont be invited a third time. They need to understand that I mean what I say. Grace knows that. She tested me tonight, and unfortunately for her I passed.

So the moral of this story... slumber parties are stupid; parenting is hard; growing up is harder; and there isn't a 10 year old on the planet that should EVER OWN AN IPHONE!!!!!!